爱の游戏

Love Game

[ Chapter 3.5 ]

~ A chapter dedicated to you ~

If I speak in the different languages of men & angels, but not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift to see the future and comprehend mysteries and have the knowledge of the world, but not love, I am nothing.

If I give all my possession to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not loved, I gain nothing.

so how about you ?

will you choose to know love just to gain that something that has been lingering deep in your heart all this while ?

If you will to possess this special book that tells everything about yourself,

will you do anything to change the past or the future ?

Eventually, you determine the stories written in it ..

how many chapters will it contain ?

what will you write in this chapter ?

i guess

thats for you to find out & for me to know ~

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It was the longest night that Jay has to go through. The countless events that happened in the past few days, one after another linking to this special girl Yuri. He just couldn't seem to catch hold any of them running through, but to just allow them rattle through his exhausted mind.

“Love is you, you have to love yourself before you learn to love others”

Yuri's words has create an riot in Jay's thoughts, that mutiny going against his strong belief of love as an game. He was choked by his own beliefs for once, do he not love himself all this while ? how come he just can't seem to find any answers to what is love afterall ... not even his beliefs could provide him an satisfactory answer.

At the moment of silence, an picture on his desk caught his attention & interrupted his thoughts. It was a picture of his family of four. It was taken when he was very young. The vibrant smile in all four faces, his dad, mum & sister simply potray out the blissfulness & warmth in one's family. No one have expected the terror & tears hidden behind this smile.

His dad has always believed that being the sole breadwinner of the family, his sole responsibility is to provide the family with the best comfort, in terms of basic necessities, yet he overlook the most important one that holds a family, love. He solely believe that giving the best to his family is already fufilling his role as a loving father to his kids & wife. Thus they should never question his credibility as a good role model father, thus he should has his own freedom in certain areas of life which they should never question why, & learn to accept it in the harsh & cruel way. Jay's father owns a mistress, this harsh reality slowly destroyed the trust & warmth in the family. His mum endure through all the suffering just for the sake of the kids, but at a later stage, it kinda turns ugly & became an unacceptable truth for her, making her look frail, hysterical at times, & slowly evolving into a haggard.

Jay came to experience all these terror & turmoil at a young age. From the very beginning, love has already chosen to shun him. He has no choice, as much as he wanted to patch the broken pieces, it only came as a huge impact on him each time he try to resolve it. Slowly, he was engulfed by this harsh truth, & he became numb to it. He was void of all the feelings & warmth in this family. He set himself a goal, to leave this bottomless pit as soon as he got the capability to do so. Thus his rise to stardom gave him an opportunity to dump away his unhappy past for once. Though he hated his life as an artise, somehow it became the one & only way to let him escape from reality, to give him an different identity in front of others, the perfect "Jay" that everyone is looking upon to.

The sound of an imcoming email broke the silence & thoughts. It was a friend request on facebook. This particular person didn't display her real name out in her account, she named herself as pink princess. Jay has no impression who this girl was & decided to view her profile before accepting her. He was bewildered by this friend request, as this account of his is a private account & not known to his fans. It was a low profile account with only a few friends in it. He don't even put his current photos in it, the one & only displayed picture was a 7 year old him where most wouldn't have link the current him to this picture.

This pink princess has uploaded loads of pictures, all potraying scenic pictures except herself in it.

" A photographer ? " Jay thought to himself.

Jay was trying to refresh through his list of photographer friends, but just couldn't seem to match any with this pink princess. Moreover her profile is rather low too, with only a few people in it, & no links to him ...

Jay begun flipping through the pictures, one by one, enjoying the scenic postures taken, & also the meaningful caption that was written below each photo taken.

Then, he chance upon a photo album named " the power of love " .

Inside this album contain pictures of mothers showering her love & care to each of their childrens.

the caption was written ;

All mothers carry a special bond with their children. They can always sense the happiness & sorrows that you carry. Afterall the 10 months spent inside our mum's womb is not for nothing. We pratically ate & drank what she consumed too. However as we grow up to face problems of our own, they can only watch silently from one side, as we start to display a sign board " do not bother me, I've grown up !! " on ourselves. Boys want their ego, Girls want their privacies, this is something that mothers has to live with, they can only pray hard that the problems we faced will eventually be solved.

No matter what wrong we have done to you, please don't blame us, nor hate us .. we want the best for you too as much as you want the best for your future children too ~

faith, hope and love is what we have in you

Jay's eyes was reddened by this. Somehow facing the past of his family & looking through the photo album, he came to realise the meaning behind Yuri's words

“Love is you, you have to love yourself before you learn to love others”

[ To be cont.. ]

faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.