爱の游戏

Love Game

[ Chapter 2 ]

Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic.

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“ Good evening, singapore ! this is DJ phileos on air at FM 14.3, bringing you " love is in the air " ~ cue in ”

The phrase, “ love makes the world go round ” is very true. It is our driving force, for what ever reason it may be. Poems, plays, and legends can only briefly touch the true meaning of love. We can only feel what that meaning is, and express it in ways only we can understand towards another. The true question we should be asking is not, what is life, but what is love.

How can one truly define what love is? Not even an experienced person can truly grasp or explain love to its truest and deepest meaning. Its concepts are just a never ending story of an open book of experiences. But love does lie in one's heart, where memories are but shadows lingering in your soul.

What is love ? I do not know, but I'll do what I can, in the best possible way to lead you to the answers deep down in your heart ..

Hmm .. let me see, last week topic " Love Game " seems to be creating some commotions among you all, haha ~ I can see that some of you are starting to participate in this game too, by laying our your very own rules. We have rules for the ladies, rules for the guys, seems never-ending .. hurhur .. so how absurd or illogical these rules can be, has it ever come across your mind that “ love makes one's stupid because it takes a fool to truly love ” .. uh- that was shared by one of our listeners Pointe De Adora. She actually laid out a rule for the ladies, “ A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left ” , one of a famous saying by Marilyn Monroe. Take a moment to reflect upon what she says, for the ladies is it being fair to the guys ? & for the guys .. how sure are you when you claim you've give your 100% affection to the girl you like ?

Alritey ~ back to topic of this week “ Love is blind ? ”

Do you still remember your first kiss ? Did you keep your eyes open or closed? I bet most of us closed our eyes.. haha ~ Isn’t this the essence of “ love is blind ? ” You kiss them without fear, and without any sense of danger. You do not have to see the one you love to know you love them. You accept love on blind faith. Love is blind and for a moment we use this phrase to justify the obvious flaws we do not recognize in the people. Lovers are oblivious to the truth and therefore unable to be clear-sighted. It is a known fact that many of us are blinded by love and we act carelessly without assessing any of our actions, thus only to have regrets for any mistakes later on. So are you one of the many that are blinded by love ? & it all goes back to what Pointe de Adora has said, “ love makes one's stupid because it takes a fool to truly love ” so did you choose to be blinded or since the start you've already been blind ? End of day, we should just ask ourselves have we been a fool to the someone we love deeply ? & with that I shall end today's programme ... Hope everyone has a good evening spent with your loved ones ~ adieus ~

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" Gina .. who is this DJ phileos ? " I curiously asked.

" uh-uh ~ he is the one of the popular DJ around these days, capturing the heart of many listeners with his creativity live on air, & also his soothing & alluring voice that carrys an aura within attracting alot of people to listen to him .. " Gina replied.

" haha ~ its not really about that soothing voice & that aura he carrys within .. no doubt its a additional + points for him, but I'm more interested in what he shares on air with his listeners .. his topics are sure captivating ... hehe "

" duh .. its a love programme ... of course he needs to bring out that essence of love in the show, or else how he become a DJ .. tsk " Gina rebuke my opinions.

" nah .. to me it is more than the essence of the show .. no doubt its a love programme, & it easily attract the attention of many hearts, but somehow the way he presented it really made one reflect upon his/her own actions towards love .. "

" hmmm .. it seems you've reminded yourself of the unhappy past again .. Yuri you should know it better than anyone else especially after you've experience the pain & suffering of it .. why choose to believe it again ... you've already destroy your future once because of it ... why ? " Gina spoke in a angry tone.

" Gina .. you know ...... "

" Yes ~ I know & I always know that you shouldn't have destroyed your future, & now you've gotten back yourself a chance again ... as your best friend & manager, I'm not gonna let it happen again .. I've reprimanded myself all these years, if only I have not let you made that choice back then ... " Gina interrupted me before I could continue.

" Perhaps .. Gina ...... " I replied in a solemn manner towards her.

I just didn't want to complicate my relationship with her again, especially given the fact that she hasn't given up on me all these years. She has been begging the company all these years, just to give me this one more chance to once again stand back on stage & perform. It was all because of my stupidity back then, nearly choosing a path of no returns, that destroyed the once shining future that was laid for me. It was really like what DJ phileos has said, “ love makes one's stupid because it takes a fool to truly love ” I was the fool to have truely love someone I shouldn't have .. or should i say someone not worthy of my love ? Neverthless its all over ..

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It has been a tiring day for me as usual. I often question my choice towards this career. Many people envy the status & popularity I'm enjoying but do they know the sacrifices in exchange for all these ? They are just seeing the surface of me with the music I made, but do they really know what I'm trying to express through my songs, I often question the credibility of my so called fans screaming & running after me. Are they really that impressed by what I sing, when they can't even know the hidden feelings behind all these songs ...

I just laid back on the sofa & on the TV, questioning my own doubts towards the media industry. I've kinda adjusted myself to the digusted feeling I always have seeing myself on TV. I know its not me on TV, it is just the "Jay" that others have crafted in their made belief world. I'm just a crafted figurine in their world, just happens that I'm the most perfect figurine in their world. I can't commit mistakes like they do, My image to them must be 100% perfect, no flaws allowed .. or else it'll be game over for me.

I was switching the TV channels randomly until I heard my song sung on one of the channels. I immediately switched to that particular channel. It was not the first time I've heard or seen others singing my song on TV, but this voice just captivates my heart at that moment of time. It was a different rendition of my " Love Game " . I just sat back listening to this singer's rendition of " Love Game ". I was totally captivated by her singing & feel towards the song. This rendition was like singing out my exact feelings towards the song, this was what I really wanted to present to the people out there.

When love has no escape route,

When you are conquered by time,

Please do not forget the happiness we once have

The path of love that once belonged to us,

I still anticipate it, hoping for it

When love has no escape route,

When you give in to the worldly concessions,

Do not deny about the past that we once have,

For its a common memory shared by us,

& I will continue to chase it forever

* audience clapping *

" thank you ... "

" wow .. a different rendition of " Love Game " . Your soft, soothing tune just inject another kind of feel towards this song, so different from Jay .. hahaha but even after a long absence, you never fail to mesmerize me with your angelic voice ... everyone .. lets welcome our guest for today ... Yuri !!! "

" thank you everyone .. hi I'm Yuri ... nice to see you all once again .. hehe "

" Oh ... such a sweet voice ... hahaha so where have you been all this while ? Alot of fans missed you ... including me .. hahah "

" uh .. firstly I'll like to apologise for my long absence too .. I missed you fans, including you too .. heh "

" awww .. did you heard that everyone ... Yuri missed me !!! "

" heh .. well I've been travelling around during this period of time, taking a break from the industry, sourcing for my own inspirations. It has been rather fruitful, as I've seen alot & experiencing something totally different from my past usual routine. Somehow I felt I've grown alot during this period of time, & now I'm finally back. heh .. hopefully this new change in me will be able to bring my music to another level, influencing you all in a good way .. continuing to gain support from you all just like in the past .. heh "

" Oh .. we have definitely seen that change in you .. especially your rendition of the " Love Game " earlier on ..simply melt me .. hahaha "

" heh .. thank you ... "

" hmmm .. but why choose to sing Jay's song ? "

" uh .. all this while I never left the world of music once .. heh I still listen to new debut albums & stuffs .. heh .. this " Love Game " sort of captured my heart ... when I first listened to it ... heh "

" ooo ~ so may I asked Jay captured your heart, or the song ? hahahah "

" heh ... of course the song did ... heee "

" hahahah .. Jay .. don't feel upset ... on a better note .. this girl here appreciate your music talents more than your looks .. hahaha "

" heh .. well I can't deny that Jay really got the looks .. but I still love his music more .. I fell in love with his song when I first listen to it .. Somehow I could derive a feel deep down in his heart what he was trying to express through this song .. heh .. so I actually came up with my own rendition of " Love Game " expressing a different feel. "

" Yuri ? she could derive a feel deep down in my heart & actually express it out through the exact same song ? who is this Yuri ? How did she do that ? "

I started to question myself deep in my mind.

" Is all this just a hallucination ? am I too tired ? show gimmick ? did she really feel what I went through in my heart ? Was it pure conincdeince ? "

Endless of questions started to flow through my mind, for once after so long ... my faith towards my old self regained back. All these while, my old self was just hidden by the "Jay" everyone sees, just when my old self was beginning to sink into the abyss of no returns, Yuri pulled me back. I was all hesistant about what is going through in my mind now.

" RIng !!!! " my phone sounded interrupting my thoughts for that moment.

" Yes ? Stanley .. whats up again ? " I gave an irritated tone.

" Sorry to disturb ya .. but I thought I should tell you over the phone first ... the company has submitted your name to the TV reality series " We got Married " , ehmmm .. its not confirmed yet, so don't be worry okays .. I know you not really into these sort of programmes, but well its the company decision .. so..... "

" WHAT ? ! ? " I shouted angrily at stanley.

" Jay .. Don't get so angry over it ya ... you're just one of the nominees & may get selected ... nothing is confirmed !! chill okays ... hur "

" you guys just don't let me make my own decisions right ? come on ... gimme a break ... you should know ... getting married is the most absurd thing that can ever happen to me ... "

" I know .. Jay .. not to worry ... I assured you everything is under control & gonna be well taken care by me .. you should know my efficiency ... hur not to worry .. okays .. go rest & don't think about it ... " Stanley spoke in a pleading tone, appeasing my anger.

I just hung up the phone without replying.

" Me getting Married ? tsk .. ! "

I just couldn't imagine it, I shut my eyes off, drifting back to the "Jay" 's world.

[ To be cont.. ]