爱の恐惧

Love Phobia

[ Chapter 9 ]

This quote doesn't really need much explanation since it describes what Men and Women want when it comes to love.

For Men, let's admit it, our first instinct when looking for our first girlfriend is for us to be her first. We want that girl or woman to be pure and virgin and for some, tend to get possessive and not let go of her which can be attributed to a man's primal instinct of being territorial not only for territory, but also for his mate. The feeling of being the first one into a woman's life is always special just like owning and riding a brand new car.

Women, on the other hand, are more sensitive and subtle towards love and romance. Most, if not all, are more patient and don't mind being the first, second, third, or so on, for their partners, as long as they are the last love of their partner's life, pertaining to the quote“til death do us part.”

“You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.”

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" Reagan, hurry up ! you're gonna be late on your 1st day of school .. " Ah Pa shouted

" Alrights ... " I replied

I gave myself one last look at the mirror before heading out. I'm not trying to be vain, neither am I vain. Afterall it was my first day of secondary school life, & to be studying in the prestigious Raffles require me to uphold the school's pride by dressing up smartly. Afterall, a prestigious school's uniform is sure to attract attention when you took a bus or train to school. Therefore I made sure I don't embarrass myself by wearing a tardy & crumpled uniform. The first impression upon people determines a battle to be won or not.

" Gosh .. you're finally done .. & you look good on your 1st day !! go electrify all the aunties on trains !!! hahaha "

" Come on .. Ah Pa .. enough of jokes okays ... I'm getting the jitters, I've no idea what secondary life is going to be like .. "

" Relax son .. just enjoy it & do your best okays .. "

I gave a nod, before heading out of house.

" Phew .. Just in the nick of time to catch this train, or else I gonna be real late ... " I mumble to myself.

I manage to find a corner seat, & settled down. I missed the primary school days whereby I could sleep in late, as i just only need to take a bus trip worth of 5minutes & now I need to travel a train journey worth 40minutes in order to get to school.

" Sighs ... " I shut my eyes hoping to get some precious sleep time

Soon, I heard a bunch of giggles sound coming directly opposite from me. I have my eyes opened, to find a bunch of school girls standing opposite me, staring towards my direction, giggling at me. The first reaction that came upon my mind ..

" Ar .. they must have noticed that I'm from Raffles, so I'm grabbing their attention .. " I thought to myself

Soon, I noticed people around my vicinity whispering, staring at my direction, giggling at me. I thought to myself,

" wow this uniform sure does wonders, I seem to be in the centre of attraction now, I guess being able to study in Raffles sure is cool "

Just when I'm busking in all this unneccessary attention, suddenly a shout emerged beside me.

" Ug .. H . !!! pervert !! " shouted a school girl.

My immediate response came,

" where ? ! ? "

I looked around, only to notice that I'm the only one sitting beside this school girl. I gave myself a look, to find that my pants was unzipped.

" Gosh .. " my face turned red at that moment.

I zipped up my pants, & hide my face behind the bag. The school girl beside me was sorta shocked too & hide her face behind the bag as people around us started to laugh at this incident. Within seconds. the train stopped, I immediately took my bag & rushed out of the train to save myself from the embarrassment.

" Goodness gracious ... it was the most embarrasing thing that could have happen " I thought to myself.

Meanwhile, I try to waive off this embarrasing incident off my mind, & try to divert attention on my handphone. I unlocked the keypad & went stun for a moment.

"This wallpaper .. the school girl from the incident earlier on ... " I stuttered.

I must have taken the wrong phone in that panicky situation ealier on, & so co-incidentally we both were holding the same exact model & colour of handphone.

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Break time came, & I decided to muster up my courage to use her phone to call mine. It wasn't long before someone respond.

" Hi You're ??? " came the response

" Erm... I think you took my phone by mistake earlier on & now I'm holding on to your phone ... "

" Huh ? you're joking ? this model & colour I'm holding on .. hey . wait a second ... "

There was a long pause before she respond again ...

" How come you got my handphone ??? " she responded in a panicky voice.

" Erm .. I thought i told you earlier on, somehow there was a switch of handphones between us, "

" ya .. but how did we switch ? ugh .. never mind .. can we meet to get back my phone ? "

" ya thats my plan too .. "

" ok .. 6pm at bishan mrt ... we shall meet then .. byes "

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I arrived early. Thinking back of the morning train incident, & how we both swtched our phones & now meeting each other again. I sense that the situation is going to be real awkward later on. From the conversation earlier on today, she seem to have not noticed that the guy holding on to her phone now is the "pervert" she shouted this morning.

" Sighs .. what a day man .. this is getting so crazy " I told myself

Her phone meloday rang. I answered

" erm .. hi .. I've arrived at the station already, I'm wearing Raffles school uniform .. "

" raffles uniform ? "

" ya "

Then came the long pause before she reacted.

" you're that pervert !!! " A sound came from behind.

I turned around.

It was her.

We both went speechless with the phone still in our hands. It wasn't a moment of silence before she started laughing, & somehow i was influenced by this atmosphere to find how silly this incident was, & i started laughing with her too.

" Hey I'm sorry .. this morning shouldn't have shouted "pervert" at you .. i was too tired, & dozed off, so I didn't quite know what was happening until i woke up to find that your pants were unzipped & my instant reaction was i encountered some pervert .. hehehe sorry .. my friends have explained the whole situation to me "

" Nah .. not exactly ya fault ... Here is your phone .. " I smiled handing the phone to her.

" hehe .. & here's yours ... nice phone we are using ar ... " she smiled back ..

" ta-haa yea .. o I'm Reagan by the way "

"Joanne " she responded with a smile.

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& that was how it all started between me & Joanne. Our unique encounter into becoming friends. I'm asking her out today to clear the misunderstandings that shouldn't have started in the first place. I decided to heed my dad advise, to tell the truth to Joanne.

" Oeii .. waited for a long time ? " Joanne gave me a pat from behind.

" Uh-uh ~ "

" you seem to be in deep thoughts wor ? "

" Hmm .. yea i was thinking about how we first met .. "

" Aww .. "pervert" incident ... hahaha " Joanne laughed

" Haha .. yea .. time really flies .. it has been 4 years since that incident, dating back we were only sec 1 back then & now we are actually progressing to JC soon .. "

" ta-haa indeed ... time really flies & we are closer than before .. isn't it .. " Joanne smiled.

" yea ... Joanne .. friendship is like a violin; the music may stop now and then, but the strings will last forever, just like how i wish both our friendship can last forever.. "

Joanne was speechless. I continued on..

" Every time you cross my mind, I think how lucky I've been, to have you as my special friend all this while. We study together, shared our secrets with each other, its a bond which i wouldn't give up for anything else in this world. I wish to make clear to you that maybe recently my actions & words has affected your feelings towards me, causing some misunderstanding, somehow it shouldn't be happening in this manner, at least not in the manner between this special friendship we holds, so i truely apologise for any misthoughts I've given you during this time, & hope we can continue to maintain this friendship bond."

I could see tears welding up on Joanne's eyes.

" of course .. silly boy ... we shall & we will continue to maintain this friendship between us, we each take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other, everywhere. okays ? " Joanne replied

I nodded.

" As for those misunderstandings .... "

Joanne interrupted me before i could continue on ...

" No .. Reagan .. its okays .. no need to clarify it .. its no longer important ... hey i just remembered i got some project work to do & need to go off ... i see you ard okays ... " Joanne ran away in tears.

At that instant, I felt guilty. I knew it was coming but I just couldn't bear the sight of this scenario. It sort of remind me the day when Juliet took off from the classroom & never returned. I was thinking will Joanne ever return ?

The truth hurts, but somehow the love hurts more. I recalled back Juliet mentioning having love phobia ..

Have I created a love phobia in Joanne ? Her first love experience seems totally destroyed by me ...

[ to be cont .. ]

Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps

william shakespeare