爱の恐惧

Love Phobia

[ Chapter 1 ]

It can takes only a minute to get a crush on

someone, an hour to like someone and a day to love someone - but takes a lifetime to forget someone

because of that someone

My fear towards love

My mistrust towards love

My hatred towards love

My despise towards love

My loathe towards love

Can I really overcome my phobia towards love ?

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Since young, my classic idea of romantic love was emobdied in a play "Romeo & Juliet" by shakespeare. I often stared at my brother acting out the role of Romeo, busking in the love of her "Juliet", the romance gimmicks, the strong language of love, those love quotes which i often don't quite understand at that point of time.

"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!/ For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."

Ben shouted

"So kor, you're swearing you never see any beautiful jiejie until tonight" I asked innocently

"Aiyo boys at your age won't understand pure love"

"Eh .. so what is pure love? "

"Hmmmm .. its a love that's pure"

"Ar .. so what does that mean? "

"Well ... Its when you love one person for the rest of your life... just like how i loved my Juliet"

"HUH ???"

that reply only gave me more question marks

"Aiyo for darn sake, you'll know when you grow up okays"

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Well, ever since then, it only arouse my curiousity towards love, I never fail to ask questions

that alduts themselves are stumbled upon. The usual replies are always "Too young to know love", "someday you'll know it",

but that doesn't stop me from seeking more answers until when i first met her ...

-----------------------

"Alrights class quiet, we have a new transfer student here today, let her introduce herself"

"Hi everyone, my name is ... J U L I E T , you guys know Romeo & Juliet ?? well my name is same as that Juliet .. "

My eyes brighten up instantly. i was thinking profusely

"Romeo & Juliet, Isn't that Romeo guy Kor is so obsessed with ? "

The whole class went silent, we are just kids afterall.

"who would have heard of Romeo & Juliet at our age ?

afterall I only heard of it through ben's obsession with Romeo & not to mention i don't even know its contents,

just a mere romance story that ended off happily ever after,"

i thought.

"Why are you guys so quiet ? Aren't you glad to see me" said Juliet

Everyone continue to keep silent

"Who's the class monitor ?" asked Juliet

I slowly raised up from my seat, quite stun upon her request for my presence

"You, Ask me a question !"

I took a deep breath, muster my courage & asked

"s-oo-so-so you got a boyfriend named Romeo ?"

The whole class went into hilarious laughter mode upon hearing that. I knew that was a stupid question but my mind

was just blank for that instance when she called for me.

She gave me a smile back instantly, saying

"nahz..so u wanna be my Romeo ?"

I was stun again by the reply.

Everyone's pupils enlarged upon hearing that, opening their mouth in awe of what Juliet has just said.

"Alright class, enough of jokes .. back to lesson"

The teacher interrupting the whole commotion after sensing this unique introduction was gettting way out of hand.

"Juliet .. go sit beside Reagan" ordered the teacher

At that moment of time, my blood was still gushing, I didn't know this feeling i'm experiencing within now. & before i got back to reality, someone just whispered to me by the ears,

"so Romeo, I'm assigned next to you ar .. teeheee"

My head turned beside to find Juliet sitting next by me giving her trademark smile again ...

-------------------

Well i suppose we are kids afterall. After weeks, I start to adapt to her presence, despite not talking to her much.

its quite an irony, given the fact i sat beside next to her & yet we just greet each other with formalitites & thats all.

One day, she finally broke the ice between us, she pass me a note during lesson,

"so u heard of Romeo & Juliet?" she wrote

"Hmmm..yea sort of, a romance story right ?" i wrote back

she seems surprised by my reply,

"wow, i always thought kids at our age are more into enid blyton than shakespeare..hee" she wrote

I was thinking "Shakespeare .. who was that?"

& well guys ego took place, i must show i'm knowleagble afterall, despite the fact I've never read it before

I just wrote back to her

"yea .. shakespeare romantic quotes just attracts me!

"Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight!/ For I ne'er saw true beauty till this night."

that quote was my brother favourite line ! i don't even know what it really means, i just always heard him saying

it again & again , till my memory don't fails me.. i guess somehow or rather it has been put to use ..

I just don't want to embarrass myself in front of her & to impress her ..

She was taken aback upon seeing my reply, yet she gave an instant smile (her trademark smile)

"Romeo" she whispered looking at me

& i whispered back "Juliet" starting back at her

[ To be cont.. ]

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves.

william shakespeare