爱の恐惧

Love Phobia

[ Chapter 13 ]

Never say that someone completes you,

we have to feel whole even when we are by ourselves,

for needing a certain someone is not love, but dependency.

Wanting a person to become a part of your life is the best reason for having them.

So rather than search for the someone who will complete you,

wait for the person that will complement your completeness.

-----------------

" because my phobia is slowly losing to the power of love ... "

Upon reaching home, I kept thinking,

Love and fear are the only emotions we as human entities are able to express. All the others are just sub-categorical emotions. For example, on love's side there is joy, peacefulness, happiness, forgiveness, and a host of others. On the other hand, fear reflects: hate, depression, guilt, inadequacy, discontentment, prejudice, anger, attack, and so on.

Despite the two somehow contradicts each other in terms of feelings, I've combined them together all this years, the fear of love that has been developed in me since young, the harshness & reality I've seen from my parents made me believe that perhaps true love don't exists. Perhaps at one time I really do believe in the power of love when I met Reagan, but it was simply destroyed by a sudden twist of reality, the faith towards it no longer shines in my heart.

" It has all ended .. & it will ... " I uttered to myself.

Soon after I fell into a deep sleep.

-------------

" Juliet ...... Juliet ...... " I heard a familiar voice calling me.

" dad ? is that you dad ? "

" sweetie ... I'm so sorry for creating this phobia in you ... "

" Huh ? dad .. " I shouted at the top of my voice searching frantically for him ..

" sweetie ... you must understand, Love and fear can not coexist. Where one is, the other can't be also. The one will leave immediately, should the other enter its presence. If you find yourself in a situation where you are experiencing great joy, and are suddenly overtaken by fear, the joy is gone! But it works the other way too: If you are terrorized, frightened, or otherwise threatened in any way, all you need to do is turn to the love within, and the fear disappears.

There is no fear in love: true love has no room for fear. Overcome this phobia, your destiny still awaits you .... "

" dad ... dad ~ !!!!!!!! ~

--------------

Months has passed. My O levels is finally over. I've been listless & moody ever since Joanne's incident. First was Juliet, then Joanne .. slowly I began to form a wall around myself, I'm really fearful of hurting someone deep again. Through this period of time, I just indulge myself into endless studying. Ironically, despite the intense study routine, I felt I might not have achieve that expectations everyone has for me. Deep in my heart, I'm just bothered by all that has happened. I've attempted to change my lifestlye, by going for my favourite plays, doing something I liked to do, but somehow it was just a temporary measure to counter that uneasiness in me.

" sighs ... another long day ahead " I thought to myself as I walked around the shopping center aimlessly.

At that instant, a bright lighting blinded my thoughts. I stared towards the source of light.

" One-Stop Love Service Center "

Then I stared inside, there was a notice stating that they are in need of temporary part time workers in there.

" Perhaps I could give myself a try, its not like I really need this job badly, but somehow I just wanted to keep myself occupied, than to render aimlessly thinking of more things. .. hurhur " I thought to myself

I decided to walk in & approach one of the staff.

" Erm .. hi .. you've put a notice stating you need temp workers right ? "

" hohoho .. uh yes ... " the jovial fellow turned around speaking in this weird greek accent.

" I'm Pahim, the owner of this shop .. so you know what my shop sells ? hohoho "

I looked around the shop, the whole setup was more like a cafe, with the quiet & cosy ambience, tables & settings. Then I thought of the signage I saw earlier,

" Hmmm .. a cafe with the theme of love ?"

" Uh .. nono !! hohoho we are not a cafe .. we sell to our customers " LOVE " .. hohoho "

" huh ? LOVE ? "

After further elaboration from Pahim, only then I knew that it was a love fortune telling cafe.

" ar .. since you've come for this job interview, I presume you're a fortune teller yourself too ..so what method you specialises in ? "

" huh ? me .. nono I guess you're mistaken ... I was like thinking perhaps I could help in that cafe part, like pertaining to customers request for drinks, etc ... , not the fortune telling part ... "

" awww .. but usually I require my staff to have some knowledge of fortune telling too even if they are working on the cafe & moreover I'm actually searching for fortune tellers, not the cafe crew .. hmmm "

" erm .. well its not that I've no knowledge on it, I do know some astrology & zodiac stuff as I've read it on books before , but .. arrr never mind .. I guess I'm not suited for this job then ... "

"hold on for a moment .. young fella .. I think given your calibre of looks, you can attract more customers to my shop, so I've decided to hire you a, but I shall put ya at the front desk to showcase you .. hohoho ... how about that ? "

" that would be great ... thanks .. so when can i start job ? "

" any moment .. young fella .. hoho "

" Reagan ... my name ... " I gave a smile ..

" Take a seat .. reagan .. be yourself at this workplace, I don't like my workers to be intense, relax, be yourself, enjoy interacting with my customers .. "

" thanks .. so are you a fortune teller yourself ? " i asked

" hoho ... why ? you wanna seek advise ? hohoho .. I used to be a full fledged fortune teller, but not anymore. After marrying my current wife, I've stopped but i still do attend to customers when I've that urge .. hehe i guess once a fortune teller, always a fortune teller, that urge can't be get rid of .. hoho "

" hahaha ~ perhaps ba .. so you specialises in ? "

" aww ..good question .. an ancient greek method .. called S'Agapo."

" S'Agapo.... what a name .. " I mumbled to myself.

" wanna give it a try ? hohoho .. let it be my first gift to you for joining us .. "

" hmm .. I never believed in this .. but well I guess I shouldn't not satisfy your urge now .. hehe "

" hoho .. young fella .. you sure are cheeky ar .. keke .. hold on a second, let me go get my "thisavros" !!"

" thisavros .. ? "

" aww .. pardon me ..it means treasure in greek language .. hoho " Pahim gave me a smile.

--------

Pahim came back with a book wrapped up in a cloth & sat down.

" Reagan .. lets get started shall we ? " Pahim spoke in a serious tone.

I nod in agreement.

“Memories are the closest thing to reality that a person can get as he rekindles the lost time. Sometimes things happen so quickly that we can’t react to the consequences, all the remains will only be memories buried deep inside.

Memories are kept inside the heart and not the brain. What your brain remembers are logical lessons that you’ve learned each day, what your heart remembers are the emotional experience that you’ve gathered each day.

Cupid governs one's love experience & memories .. with that he spoke of the truth in your past & present ... & leads you to your future ... "

Pahim spoke sincerely & then flipped open the book he brought along with him earlier on.

"Your journey of seeking love starts the very moment you felt the tingling feeling in your heart. The happiness and sorrows that you felt across every chapter of love.

You fell, You cried and You learned. For love is something that has no beginning and no end.

Your love for her grow stronger each day as you get to know her more. You let her behaved at her most wildly side in front of you. You allow her to do whatever she wants to you. You've change whatever she dislikes, your habits, your behavior, your work attitude and sometimes yourself.

You try to make her happy everyday despite whatever problems that stirred within you.

Is all this love?

You can't speak clearly of yourself at that moment of time ...

You only know that it hurts real bad when you see her cry and your heart is contented when you see her cheerfully smiling at me.

There are only the undying three words that we tell each day. Those three simple words of simple truth and vast meaning.

‘I Love You’

S'Agapo. ..

As your feelings has finally reveal themselves in front of love, your destiny awaits you ... for you shall be the key to conquer the phobia .. It shall starts from the tale of star-crossed lovers to the tale of S'Agapo."

Pahim smiled & closed his book.

" As my feelings has finally reveal themselves in front of love, my destiny awaits me ? "

I mumbled.

[ to be cont .. ]

So they lov'd as love in twain

Had the essence but in one;

Two distinct, divisions none

William Shakespeare

爱の恐惧

Love Phobia

[ Chapter 12 ]

Sometimes we need to ...

stop analyzing the past

stop planning the future

stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel

stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel

Sometimes we just have to go with ...

whatever happens ... will happens

-----------

"R o m .. r ea .. gan " I stuttered.

"Can you pls stop ignoring me ? Why are you doing so ? Just when i thought lady luck was upon me for once, when my dad finally regain back to his own self, & now I'm losing a good friend without knowing why ? why must this be happening ? Ugh !!!" Reagan shouted

"Sometimes in life, when we gain something, we lose something. Losing something might be for a better cause .. "

"Stop it for once ... why are you talking like an aldut ? talking about life ? we are just children .. aren't we ? can't we just enjoy the luxury of being a children, wanting things in whatever manner we want. I just don't want to lose anything, anyone, anymore." I broke out in tears ..

"Because fate never allow me to live like a children, I've simply lose too much, everything, everyone. I just can't afford to have a good friend, then lose it again, I'm really tired of losing ...." Juliet broke out in tears while saying her piece too

"Then don't lose it .. why can't we just be good friends forever ? "

"I wish I've such naive thinking like you ... if only everything could be forever ... then i wouldn't have lose it in the first place"

I ran out of the classroom.

That was the worst day of my school life. I would have rather suffer thousands of people hurling abuse & teasing me, than to go through all this ...

I still couldn't withstand all the twists behind all this happenings .. if only dad didn't murder regan's mum ? I was confused .. Somehow it just relate me to romeo & juliet, the rivalry between the capulet & montague family, a tragedy ending ... I wouldn't want such ending happening to me & reagan, thus I've decide to leave him for good, never to see him again, I wrote a letter,

"Romeo,

so you finally found it huh ? i was comtemplating whether to hand it to you personally before leaving, but i finally decided to leave it at the hands of fate.

Do not blame me for leaving without a word, there was a lot of unforseen circumstances to bear if i'll to continue to stay on.

This is the harshness of reality, which you must learn to accept.

Someday, maybe you'll get to learn the truth behind all this harshness, but i seriously hope that you do not get to learn it. The truth always hurts, & you alone must bear the harshness of it when you get to learn it. At times i'm really envious of your naivety towards things. Through the time we spent together, somehow i really feel i'm a changed person, i learn alot from you, but i guess the truth doesn't allow me to continue on to do so. This whole thing was an irony, maybe i shouldn't have switched school, & meet you. But i do not regret in doing so, because you gave me hope, something which i really needed at this point of time.

Knowing you was a blessing but having you by my side was a miracle indeed. A miracle that i needed to keep me going, but it was selfish of me to do so. Thus I've decided to leave you for good, hoping to conceal what you should not know & hopefully you continue to live your life to the fullest.

P.S I'll remember you for life

Juliet,"

I slide it well concealed under the table, & carved a " R & J " on both our table top. It won't be easily noticed unless you really go observed it, I've leave it to the hands of fate as for whether reagan can find this letter. With my last tears, I walked out of the classroom solemnly.

--------------

I closed my diary ...

" Reagan ... sighs " I wept off the tear from my cheek.

Fate has decree so, Reagan has never found the letter, its still there after all these years. Recently I've went back to visit miss Tan on teacher's day. Though alot of things that signify our memories has been removed, it has never been removed from my heart. Only after 4 long years, I then managed to pluck up this courage to enter the school compound. All along, I really fear that somehow we both will meet inside the school. Thinking back of that day, my sub concious just overtook me, & made me go inside. Deep inside me, I really wanted to meet him again, or even sneak a peep at him. But well, after i went back to the classroom & find that the letter is still there, I knew that its all over ... & I never get to meet him that day. I presume that fate has decree so, we both are over, & I shan't think about it no more.

-------------

" Ready for your surprise ? " Joanne grinned at me ..

" Huh ? what surprise ? " I replied

" hurhur .. you got STM ? remembered last week you gave me that surprise .. now my turn to surprise you !! "

" Huh ? you really planned a blind date ? " I stammered.

" tee-hee .. maybe .. hahaha consider it a date then .. quick we are gonna be late ... I've made an appointment with that person ... "

Joanne took my hands & rushed for the bus. We arrived at a shooping mall. Upon reaching, Joanne dragged me to this shop. I was hesistant to really turn up for a date & moreover I wasn't really interersted in other guys, at that instant, the lightings on the shop just blinded my thoughts.

" One-Stop Love Service Center "

" Huh ? " I stared towards Joanne.

" Yes .. this is my surprise .. for youuuu " Joanne replied

" for what .. ? I'm not even attached .. whats the use of coming to this love service center ... hurhur "

" its supposingly a love fortune telling shop ... alot of my friends came & consult about their love life, & gosh it was damn accurate, & alot of their status went from single to into a relationship lor .. it really helps..you know .. keke .. "

" aww .. gimme a break .. Joanne .. you know that I'm never into this kinda stuff ... "

" thats why its worth a try ... they got all sorts of methods inside, from tarot, fengshui, astrologies, etc ... its so cool isn't it ... & moreover you've promised me last week that you will give me the honour of surprising you lor .. huhrur "

" sighs .. oh well .. I guess I lose to you for once .. okays fine lets enter ... "

" tee-hee .. muacks .. thankies .. we both shall be changing our status soon !!! hoooo ~ " Joanne ranted.

---------------

Upon entering inside, we were usherd to a empty table, & soon after a fortune teller came to greet us in this weird accent.

" I guess many of us were born into this world due to the love blossom of our parents. They in turn were products of love of their own heritage. All these went back thousands of years since the first of homo-sapiens.

As we live and grow older, we sometimes ask ourselves.

“When do humans actually start loving one another?”

Why do we always feel nervously happy when we see someone we like and dull when we see someone we don’t?

Was all this the work of God or genetic human evolution?

Some believe love was spread by Cupid from ancient Greek mythology

So he was rightfully known as the God of Love and everything that got to do with love was associated with him.

Answers that you’ve always yearn of knowing.

This is where it all begins in your life. "

" wow .. what a cool introduction by this guy ... " Joanne whispered to me.

" yea sure .. indeed .. marketing gimmick ma .. tsk tsk " I replied.

The fortune teller smiled, & replied us in his greek accent

" so my lovely ladies .. as my intro has stated, I expertise in using an ancient greek method to help you both with regards to love matters, hmm .. as for whether it can really helps you both, I can't gurantee, but I shall be able to give you good advise & hope for the best in your love life .. "

" so what is this ancient greek method all about, care to elaborate ? we've never heard of it .. " Joanne excitingly asked.

" sure .. my fair ladies .. this method originated from the greek mythology,

Once upon a time there was a king with three daughters. They were all beautiful, but by far the most beautiful was the youngest, Psyche. She was so beautiful that people began to neglect the worship of Venus, the goddess of love and beauty. Venus was very jealous, and asked her son Cupid (the boy with the arrows) to make Psyche fall in love with a horrible monster. When he saw how beautiful she was, Cupid dropped the arrow meant for her and pricked himself, and fell in love with her.

Despite her great beauty no-one wanted to marry Psyche. Her parents consulted an oracle, and were told that she was destined to marry a monster, and they were to take her to the top of a mountain and leave her there. The west wind took her and wafted her away to a palace, where she was waited on by invisible servants. When night came her new husband visited her, and told her that he would always visit her by night and she must never try to see him.

Although her invisible husband was kind and gentle with her, and the invisible servants attended to her every desire, Psyche grew homesick. She persuaded her husband to allow her sisters to visit her. When they saw how she lived they became very jealous and talked Psyche into peeking at her husband, saying that he was a monster who was fattening her up to be eaten and that her only chance of safety was to kill him. Psyche took a lamp and a knife, but when she saw her beautiful husband, Cupid, she was so surprised she dripped some hot wax onto his shoulder, waking him. He took in the situation at a glance and immediately left Psyche and the magnificent palace she had been living in disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Psyche roamed about looking for her husband, and eventually in desperation approached his mother, Venus. Still angry, the goddess set various tasks for Psyche, all of which she passed, with a bit of help from ants and river gods. But in the end, Psyche still got human limits, & finally passed away. Thereafter, Cupid heard of all this from the ants & river gods, & was touched. Thus he came up with this method "S'Agapo." meaning I love you .. to commemorate the departure of psyche & also to help humans in their love life. "

" wow .. touching ... sweet !!! " Joanne mumbled.

" This love story somehow touches my heart, & convince me that coming here might not be a bad idea afterall .. " I thought to myself.

" indeed, greek mythologies never fail to amaze us with their wonderful stories . isn't it .. hoho shall we start then ? "

" suries ... my friend Juliet shall start first ... "

" hur .. me ? " I was still short of reponse to what was going, as I was still indulging in the beauty of the story told earlier on.

" ar .. Juliet .. nice name you've .. ~ you must be searching for your romeo then ... hoho "

" Yes .. she is ... " Joanne answered before I could reply ..

" Jo .. an .. ne I don't believe in this, I just company you .... " I stared at her .

" ar .. I see .. alright let me take a look .." the fortune teller interrupted me before I could continue on.

At that moment, the fortune teller flipped open a book with lots of ancient greek writings on it, I felt my heart accelerating as he flips open the book in this quiet atmosphere.

" It is of the most unusual places that the two of you first met. The arrangement seems like destiny sets it’s foot upon. Both of you continued from this meeting and became friends as time goes by …uh .. i see .. a love tale that binded you both together, when the two of you met for the second time, there was already the feeling of likeness felt within each other. There were plenty of opportunities in knowing each other better with the help from fate, It was a match made in heavens until a twist of fate destroys this relationship."

The fortune teller closed the book upon saying his piece.

I went silent. Joanne stared at the both of us. The fortune teller broke the silence.

" so .. miss Juliet, that was your past .. right ? at least thats what Cupid has told me .. hohoho "

In my mind, it was full of thoughts, how did he ever manage to know so much ?

" Miss Juliet .. sorry for interrupting your thoughts again .. but I've forseen that it hasn't ended, which is why cupid didn't continue on your future."

" but .. its has all ended isn't it .. he never even read the letter I left for him back then, this 4 years, I've never seen him .. " I thought to myself.

" Because your phobia has been challenging fate all this while, but slowly it is losing ... to the power of love ... "

The fortune teller ended off with a smile.

" because my phobia is slowly losing to the power of love ... "

I mumbled.

[ to be cont .. ]

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;

And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.

william shakespeare

爱の恐惧

Love Phobia

[ Chapter 11 ]

What we need to know about loving is no great mystery.

We all know what constitutes loving behavior; we need but act upon it, not continually question it.

Over-analysis often confuses the issue and in the end brings us no closer to insight.

We sometimes become too busy classifying, separating, and examining, to remember that love is easy.

It's we who make it complicated.

-------------

" dad .. can i ask you a question ? "

" sure .. sweetie ... "

" That auntie Josie I saw today ... is she a very good friend of yours ? "

Roy went silent.

" dad .. have you ever loved mum before ? "

" sweetie .. love is a very complex subject .. its not something I can explain to you in sentences & words ... "

" dad .. I may not know love .. but the way you stare at auntie Josie today betrays your thoughts .. the tears that weld your eyes after seeing her ... its something that won't happen between you & mum ..."

" sweetie .... "

I interrupted dad before he could continue on ..

" dad .. perhaps love is not as complex as you made it sound like .. its you people that made it complicated .. isn't it .. "

I walked away without saying good night.

Utter disappointments, broken promises, betrayals, quarrels are just part of this family. It just shut myself from others. I hated that young boy with auntie Josie today, yet envious of him. That parental love that I seek so much seems so far from me, that young boy has taken my share of happiness. Its a ironic fact that how alduts often think that we childrens might not know anything but in actual fact, we are the one that see most clearly. Though we may not interpret or understand it, but that feeling just tells it all. Since young, that has been the way of communicating with my parents. My dad did try efforts to change this system, but it was futile, the grudge has been laid, the way I do not understand him, & how I was often teased by my school mates just shuts me out from others. It was an phobia inside of me. I just can't describe this feeling within me, all i know that it was something that I'm fear of & never want to approach it.

-------------

I closed my diary. Through this years, I never failed to update my feelings inside this book of secret. Every now & then, I would just take it out & read. Perhaps thats the only way that I could communicate with that inner side of me, that phobia within me.

" Hmm .. come to think of it ... that little young boy beside auntie Josie reminds me of him .... they sure look alike .. " I thought to myself.

" Ugh .. crazy thoughts .. " I mumbled to myself.

Recently, somehow my thoughts just swayed to his existence. Its like after so long, I've conquered myself to avoid him & it was successful but recently all these crazy thoughts just came to me.

" I guess I must be mugging too much .. come on Juliet .. its not the time to think of him ... its all over between me & him ... "

I just buried my head under my pillow & dozed off.

------------

" Juliet ... the day after .. you'll switch school ... " Mum spoke in a cold tone to me.

" But why mum ? I'm happy there ... " I rebuked.

" Happy in school or with that young boy ? " Mum retorted.

" But thats not being the point .. why pull Reagan inside this conversation ... "

" tsk .. humpfh .. then you gotta question your dear father why ... "

" huh ? what has it gotta do with dad ? why ? why ? why ? " I shouted.

" you want to know why ! I shall tell you .. because your dad murdered that young boy's mum !!!! "

I went silent ..

Dad murdered Reagan's mum. That was the most absurd thing I've ever heard of.

" Don't believe me ... go ask that useless father of yours ... !! "

Just at this moment, dad came into the picture. He was speechless. He seem to have overheard the conversation between me & mum.

" sweetie .. listen to your mum ... "

" dad .. did you really .... m u r ... d " I stammered.

Before i could continue on, dad suddenly shouted ...

" YES I DID !!! I KILLED HER !!! I MURDERED HER !!! "

-----------

I woke up abruptly. I still could feel that freeze down my spine. That shout from dad just woke me up. It was a nightmare.

" Phew .. for once I thought history was repeating itself again, why am I reenacting this whole scene again... tsk "

I immediately freshen up myself, before wash-up. It was the last day of my paper. The long awaited day after 4 long years, the day that will end this part of my journey, & renew with a new beginning soon after.

" Juliet dear ... prepared for your rendezvous with Romeo later .. hehe ? "

" yes .. Joanne .. more than prepared .. "

" ooo .. who am I to question the top literature student of the school ... tsk tsk "

" yea .. bleah ... come on its the last paper .. brighten up !!!" I shouted.

" aww .. not for this paper .. literature has always been a killer ... if not for you .. I wouldn't have taken up .. " Joanne replied.

" Come on ... you did enjoy too right ... the romance of Romeo & Juliet .. "

" Yea .. maybe the romance part .. but not the exam part .. hahaha " Joanne joked.

" hahaha .. bleah come on .. lets give our last surge ... & we shall go celebrate later ... I got a surprise for you ... "

" ooo ~ SURRPISE ? "

"uh-uh ~ " I nodded

" What is it ? Don't keep me in suspense, or else I no mood for paper ... hehe "

" Nono .. its meant to be a surprise .. so you'll know it later .. tee-hee "

" Alrights ... " Joanne spoke in a moody manner.

----------------

" YAY !!! Its finally over !!! our 4 long years ..... woooooo !!! " Joanne ran out of the hall shouting.

That sense of achievement, the 4 years that has been slogged, the amount of time spent mugging, has finally come to an end.

" Joanne ... you've just passby O levels .. 2 years later .. you still got the A levels .. " I joked.

" awww come on .. Juliet .. don't be a spoiler .. don't even mention it please .. at least let me enjoy for now !!! "

" taa-haa .. yes my dear .. so ready for your surprise ? "

" of course .. couldn't be more than ready ... " Joanne gave me that smirk look.

" taa-daaa !!!!!! 2 tickets for tonight Romeo & Juliet play ... at esplanade theatre "

" Gosh ... my dear Juliet .. can't you get enough of R & J .. we just finished it ... you know .. "

" yes I know I know ... but it is a very good play, I've heard good comments about it .. you know & its their last day .. "

" sighs ... what to do when you got a friend that is so obsessed by R & J ... seems that I got to company you ... "

" tee-hee ... I knew my Joanne dear wouldn't leave me alone ... at the most .. I give you the honour of surprising me the whole of next week .. tee-hee "

" orh - oh ... you meant it ... I'm gonna surprise you with blind dates ... hahahaha " Joanne joked.

" yes yes .. you & your blind dates .. can we leave missy dear ? or else we gonna be late you know .. "

" Alrights ...... "

-----------

The whole esplanade theatre was packed. I presume it must have been a very good play, which explains the crowd inside. I was getting all excited despite the long queues in line.

" Joanne .. its so cool isn't it .. the whole layout ... of the theatre .. just like back then in shakespeare play ... "

" I got to admit , its fascinating, the whole atmosphere inside here ... I guess you didn't made a wrong choice .. "

" of course , I wouldn't recommend you the wrong things okays .. haha "

Just when I'm still enjoying this whole atmosphere inside the theatre, I thought I caught a glimpse of him.

" Could it be him ? It can't possibly be him right ? " i told myself.

I went into panic mode, hoping that all these were just an illusion. I immediately hide my face behind the brochure I was holding, in pretense of reading it.

" what are you mumbling about .. Juliet ... " Joanne asked.

" nothing luhs ... "

The whole play went on as planned. I was having mixed feelings throughout the whole play.

" what if it was really him ? what if he saw me ? "

I was thinking of all possibilities that could have happened. I wasn't prepared for all this at all. At that moment of time, I only wished to leave as soon as possible, yet i was fearful that my departure now will create a commotion, & he will notice it, I can only pray that the play end soon, & I can leave without him noticing.

A glooming peace this morning with it brings;

The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:

Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things;

Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:

For never was a story of more woe

Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Finally the play ended.

" ENCORE ! ENCORE ! ENCORE ! "

Everyone in the hall started to applaud at the wonderful performance put up.

After the crowd started to disperse, I pulled Joanne hands & walk swiftly out of the crowd.

" Whats the rush ? Juliet .... "

" No luhs .. was getting a bit heat up inside .. the ventilation ought to improve a bit ... orh ... "

Joanne gave me that half belief look.

" Juliet .. you saw it right ? "

" Huh ? saw what ? "

" saw that I really wasn't myself through the play ... "

I gave a confused look.

" I saw him just now .... " Joanne spoke in a slow tone.

" him ? "

" yea .. I didn't expect to see him at this occasion, only then I came to realise that he was a R & J fanatic like you ... so come to know of it, it really wasn't a shock, but somehow it really came as a surprise like you said ... hurhur "

At that moment, I only came to realize that the him Joanne refering to was that guy who rejected her.

" I'm sorry .. Joanne .. I didn't know ... "

" No its ok ..you need not apologise .... its not really your fault ... I guess I'm the one that is affected by it & can't seem to let go entirely yet ... "

I gave Joanne a good hug.

" anyway thanks dear .. you must have noticed it somehow, thats why to get me out of this akward position, you rushed out right .. hehe " Joanne smiled.

" huh ... erm yea .... "

I decided to continue on with this white lie, I guess Joanne wasn't in a state to know what really happened too. It was so coincidental that Joanne met that guy & I somehow seem to have met him too. I guess it was really a night full of surprises, & somehow my intuition is telling me that more surprises has yet to come.

[ to be cont .. ]

Love is a spirit of all compact of fire.

william shakespeare